It can also be very confusing when someone doesn’t stick to stereotypically what that label says.
The issue with many labels is they come attached with set assumptions and even some negative associations about how someone who identities with that label must be and live their life. “There isn’t a straight forward answer, it’s a complex issue about sexual identity, labels, mixed with cultural expectations.” “If you are attracted to sex with men and you are straight, do we have to put a label on it?” agrees Max. It seems there are many issues when it comes to homosexuality that many men are not comfortable with, and these might stem from lifestyle, masculinity to cultural or religion. Which begs the question: If you are a straight man who has sex with men, why identify as straight? If you enjoy it, why not call yourself bi or fluid? He describes it as “going to a theme park and saying I haven’t tired that ride before, this looks like fun.” Paul wants to experience different sexual encounters and not be restricted by a label. The idea that two women together is hot but two men together is gay. They are just wanting to experiment and have a bit of fun just like we see girls out there on the dance floor.”Īnd by girls on the dance floor, Paul is referring to the hypersexual behaviour of women towards each other, sometimes even sexual encounters, that don’t require any labels. Paul continues, “I would think that society would be amused by the number of men that are out there that seek a slightly different adventure and it doesn’t necessarily mean in any way shape or form that they are gay or bi. I think there are so many more men out than the world realises, than woman realise, that enjoy a different type of stimulation.” His overall advice: “Try to understand it and embrace it. It sounds harsh, but it’s true.”Īs much as gay men are willing to boast about their encounters with straight men, finding a straight man who engages in these same sex experiences to talk openly was like the hunt for Bin Laden.Īfter a call out I received a message from a man name Paul who identified as straight but admitted, “he had an occasional urge to have a different sexual experience, one you can have with a guy”. “Is it that easy to find another girl who is just willing to give a blow job and say nothing more? Guys know what other guys are like. “The majority of straight men who are going to a glory hole are going because they don’t want to see who is on the other side. While some men might be experimenting with their sexuality and desires, Max explains that the glory hole encounters between men where one might not identify as gay could be more to do with the ease at which men can get off. These men will walk in and walk away without knowing who the person is on the other side but understand that it is another man. I also spoke to another man who has a glory hole (a sheet in his apartment that has a hole in it which sexual acts can be anonymously carried out through) and puts out ads to have encounters with straight men only. This was later reconfirmed by a text message which said, “You give head as good as my wife does.” Towards the end of the encounter, his phone rang displaying a photo of the man he was hooking up with and his wife on their wedding day. He also informed me of a recent encounter he had with a straight man at a sex on premises club who he thought was gay. Probably any toilet you go to is a beat,” he said. “It’s pretty easy to find if you know where you are looking. Max* informed me that finding straight men to hook up with is not that hard. It is not necessarily about sexual attraction to a gender, but sexual pleasure.įinding a gay man who has experience in this was not difficult at all. After investigating the issue and speaking to some of the men involved, I was surprised to find out that as well as some of these men being in the closet, there is also a population of guys out there who are hooking up with other guys just for the pure ease at which a hook up can occur. I’d heard of the term “men who have sex with men” (msm), but was confused as to why these straight men/gay men hook-ups were occurring so commonly, and what it was all about.Īre these men secretly gay and in hiding?Īs it turns out, not all of them are. It’s a subject that has always fascinated me because I have many gay friends who bed these so-called straight (and often married) men with excitement, enthusiasm and frequency. IF A man is sexual with another man, is he gay? You can kiss a girl and like it and be straight, but man on man sex is quickly put in the category of homosexuality.